Many men are left speechless when they meet a beautiful woman. If you expect to maintain a friendship or want to ask for an appointment , starting a conversation can be stressful. However, if you know how to get her attention and make her feel special, your first date will be closer than you think. Keep reading this article to learn how to talk to a woman.
Start a conversation
Get your attention with your eye contact. Give him a quick glance, wait for him to notice, smile at him with his eyes and then look away. If you look at her again and their eyes meet, she is interested in talking to you. If you avoid eye contact with you, you are probably not interested or too busy or distracted to notice your presence.
- If you are talking to another man, give up, unless you feel too interested in her.
- If you are with a group of women, then you have more possibilities if you are going to talk with your group of friends.
Get close enough to talk to him. If you are reading, look for books near her. If you are in a bar, order a drink with her. Find any excuse to approach her. However, in some situations, it can be difficult (for example, if they are inside a cafeteria and she is concentrating on her laptop or if she is talking to a friend). If so, it’s probably best not to interrupt it unless you notice it intrigued by your presence (for example, if you cannot stop seeing it).
- Do not wait too long to talk to him. If she looks at you and approaches you, let her know that you are a person to take arms, smile and walk towards her.
Start a conversation Keep it casual, as if you already knew each other, but not too casual because you will scare her. You can start with a simple comment and end with an open question: “What a nice day, right ?!” or “This site is super full, right?”. What you say is not important nor do you need an answer to your question, you are only inviting her to start a conversation with you. If you respond in a good way, continue with the conversation. If she does not respond to you, she seems worried or disinterested, she probably is not interested. Therefore, try to start a conversation with another person.
- Do not worry about saying something perfect at the beginning. Just start the conversation and surprise it later. Do not choose to say something that does not sound to you.
Keep a natural conversation. Do not opt for a “structured conversation”, routines to “attract someone” or something similar. The best way to connect with someone is to speak with your heart and live the moment to the fullest. What you say is not as important as the way you say it. Socializing is about exchanging energy, not about looking like a lexicographer. When in doubt, just say “Hello.”
- If you try too hard to look interesting, it seems as if you have rehearsed. You will be more surprised if you speak with your heart or say something unexpected instead of sounding like you have rehearsed your conversation.
Make a compliment. Since you have just met, you should not say things like: “You have the most beautiful eyes in the world” or “You have super sexy legs”. If you do, you will scare her. Instead, give her a compliment, praising her shirt, an unusual jewel she is wearing or even her laughter. You can also tell him that his hair looks good, but nothing more personal or evidence your interest. Say something that you really want to say and make her feel appreciated.
- It is enough to make a compliment to him in his first conversation. You do not want to make him feel that you try too hard.
Use your environment in your favor. If things are a bit strange at the beginning, you can look around to guide you. If you are in a bar, just say something like, “Are you coming often?” or “Have you tried such a drink?” If there is a poster announcing a concert, you can ask if he likes that band. If you wear a hood from a specific university, you can ask what faculty it is because you have a family member who went to the same university.
- You should not look too much around you or you will feel ignored, but if you feel nervous because you do not know what else to say, looking around can be very helpful.
Talk about unimportant things . Talking about insignificant things are important; therefore, do not omit it. It can help you change the subject to important things and you can go from “How are you?” a “What do you think about life?” Therefore, start by talking about what you did over the weekend, the weather, your friends, your work or anything that keeps you interested. Keep the conversation going and see if you can make her laugh. Do not worry too much to know if you’re bored, just keeps the conversation going.
- Make her feel comfortable talking about unimportant things and will soon be willing to open up a little more with you.
Keep her interested
Tell him a little about yourself. If they do well talking about unimportant things, tell them some things about you, such as what you work on or what you think of a program that you just saw. Of course, at a certain point in the conversation, you can introduce yourself and, with some good luck, discover your name. The key to sharing information is to open up little by little. Take turns talking and every time I tell you something about her, tell her something more about you.
- For example, if he tells you that he is taking summer courses, you can tell him that you are also doing the same and you can tell him what your favorite courses are. This invites you to tell you something more about her and thus increase the trust between them.
- You do not want to tell too many things about yourself very quickly and you cannot expect him to do the same.
Give your full attention. Laugh at their jokes, listen to their stories and do not get distracted by what goes on around them. It is more important to seem interested in your conversation than to seem interesting. Also, monopolize the conversation. It is more important to be good at listening than to pretend to be interesting.
- Keep your phone away (until you ask for your number). This is not the time to talk to your friends unless you want to make them feel that you are not interested.
Ask questions. If you want her to feel comfortable talking to you, then you must show her that you care as a person instead of making her feel like another person. You can ask him some questions, without being too personal. You can ask about his life, his ideas or some general topics such as his favorite team or what he likes to do in his free time. Here are some suggestions:
- His family
- Your pets
- Your favorite movies, books or albums
- His friends
- His hobbies
- His work
Ask for your opinion Make her feel like a valuable and intelligent person. Also, make him feel that you really care about what he thinks whether or not he accepts an appointment with you. You can tease him and ask him what he thinks of your new cut or outfit. You can also get more serious and ask about a movie in premiere, about your favorite music or your opinion on a local topic.
- Just remember not to choose a topic that is too political or sensitive. If you do, you may find yourself in the middle of a political or religious war when you just want to flirt. Think twice before asking something that might annoy or frighten you.
Find something they have in common. Although opposites attract, if they discover they have something in common, they probably have a good conversation. You should not scare her with questions about her five hundred favorite things to know if they have anything in common, but keep subtle and see if she mentions something that they have in common and try to pick it up at the right time. You can talk about your favorite team, your career, your travels or something you can talk about for hours.
- When you ask a question, keep the question open. Do not say something like “Do you like the Lakers as much as I do?” Instead, say something like “What is your favorite team?” to find a topic to talk about, even if you do not like the Lakers.
- Pay attention. Maybe I mention you have studied in Spain and then you can say something like “A while ago you mentioned having studied in Spain. I lived in Barcelona for a year. Where you lived?”
Print it with your maturity. Remember: this article is about how to talk to a woman, not a girl. You must show him that you are independent, intelligent and you feel comfortable with yourself. Do not complain about your work, do not get drunk, do not speak ill of people that both can know or behave like a teenager. You can continue to feel funny and somewhat clumsy, but make it clear that you are a man who knows what he wants and not just a child.
Let her talk. Probably, you are so busy trying to impress her and showing her your best characteristics that you do not let her talk much. Usually, try to have a conversation at 50 and 50 or 60 and 40 if one of the two is more talkative. If your speech in the conversation is between 80% and 90%, there is a good chance you will not enjoy your conversation, unless you are “really” entertaining or are saying the most amazing things in the world. Therefore, you must be attentive. Take note of how much you talk, do not interrupt and do not be afraid to be quiet for a minute to gather ideas.
- If you want to make them feel connected, then you should let them have their say, even if it is a bit annoying.
Flirt with her . Yes, flirting is part of keeping her interested. You must not exaggerate. Just give him a little smile and tease him a little (as long as you know he will not take it for granted). Show him that you do not take yourself so seriously and you can put up with his jokes. Be cheerful. Lean a little towards her and see where her conversation is going. You can also pat her on the shoulder if she feels comfortable. If they flirt, it must be from both sides. Therefore, if you do not, you will know it very quickly.
Make sure you’re interested. Although you will not know if she likes you until you try, you can read her signs to see how she feels before trying to get closer to her. If she sees you in the eye, laughs a lot and does not look for her friends to save her or leave when you get close, then she may be interested. If you answer your questions with a simple “yes” or “no” and look uncomfortable or dissatisfied, then you are probably too kind to ask you to walk away.
- Read your body language Does your body lean towards you or move away? If it leans toward you, then it is a sign that you want to get closer.
- Remember: every woman is different. You probably like her but she is very shy and you read her signals incorrectly because of it.
Have physical contact. This is a way to show your romantic intentions. If you do not clarify from the beginning that you have romantic intentions, then you risk being seen as a friend. It is not difficult to touch someone while being respectful. If you want to go somewhere, extend your arm so you can put your arm around or put your hand on your back or waist when you are in the direction of the door (or corridor) while you say “after you”.
- Otherwise, be brave and put your hands on yours for a moment. If you are interested, you probably look a bit surprised, but be receptive. If it is not, then it will be uncomfortable and go away.
Make an appointment. For most people, this is the hardest part because you will let them know your intentions and in doing so you risk being rejected. Be brave. Tell him you’d like to see her again and ask for her phone number. If you feel safe, make an appointment. If you are not interested, do not insist. There are more women with whom you can talk.
- Do not press when you ask. Just say something like, “I had a great time talking to you and I’d like to eat or drink something another day, could you give me your number?” You do not need to use the word “date” or say “I really like you” or say something too obvious.
- Read their body language while they talk. If she looks at you or leans toward you, it means she is interested. If you are restless or quiet, you may not be interested or shy.
- Practice your skills to listen to others actively. One part of being good at hearing others is letting them know that you are really doing it. Make eye contact, move your head, say “yes”, “I see”, “interesting” or something similar that shows you that you are listening and that you are not thinking about what else you are going to say later.
- Learn about women. Do you feel that you understand them? Or are they like an extraterrestrial species to you? Spend time with women. Read books that offer you some knowledge about the difference between women and men. Gain some perspective on the issues that are most problematic for them. The more you know them, the more comfortable you will feel talking to them.
- Ask questions. Most people love to talk about themselves. Start by asking open questions (not questions in which you can answer yes or no). Some things you can ask: “What courses are you taking this year?” or “Have you seen this movie? What did you think?”
- Do not let the conversation fall into oblivion. Keep it short and pleasant. Even if the conversation is good, you should leave something for the next time you see each other. In addition, it is easier to “make an appointment” while the conversation goes well instead of when you have died.
- Do not waste your time with a rude woman or showing disinterest. Not only women have standards. Talk to a friendly and educated woman. Even if you are not interested in yourself romantically, there are many ways in which you can let her know. He does not need to treat you like a nuisance. In other words, there is no reason for you to treat you badly. If you look the other way, you barely respond and act rudely, do not wait until you find an excuse to leave. Say something like “It seems you do not want to talk” or make up an excuse to leave. There is no reason to waste time with someone who is not interested in you. Just the fact of having tried to talk to a complete stranger increases your confidence.
- Put aside any emotional need you have. The emotional needs are predecessors of the obsession and the obsession is something chilling. People with these needs are unbalanced and unstable because their happiness depends too much on someone else. If you project that image, it is better to calm down, be patient and examine yourself.
- Do not talk about anything personal at the beginning of the conversation. Talk about the environment, a program that you just saw or anything else, but do not talk too much about yourself or ask personal questions.
- Maintaining eye contact for a long time is something that people like. You can do it if the person you are talking to proves to have romantic intentions, but it can be very risky because you may be mistaken. Look her in the eye while they talk, but also make sure you look the other way from time to time and show interest in other things. Do not keep seeing a part of your body (chest, hands, shoes, etc.) even if it catches your attention. You do not want to make her feel as if she were under the lens of a microscope.
- Try as much as possible to do it only when she is alone. If you are accompanied by another woman (s) you can also start a conversation with them. Now, if you are accompanied by another man it is better to be prudent , since there is a likelihood that it is your partner (boyfriend / husband) and probably jealous.