Communicating is very difficult. That is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship. If you want to communicate better in your relationship, then you should know how to present your ideas and be willing to listen to your partner “really”. If you want to learn to communicate better with your partner, keep reading this article.
State your arguments
Learn to express your ideas. We have heard different jokes or phrases about the problems that exist during a conversation. For example: when a person says “this” means “that” or “what he means is that …” These phrases are funny because they are usually true. Sometimes, we hope our partner understands what we want to say; wishing or hoping it is fair or effective. Instead, expose your thoughts directly.
- When you present your ideas, offer concrete examples of what you want to say to make your words more meaningful. Do not just say something like “I think you have not done your household chores”. Instead, say something like “I had to wash the dishes every night for the last two weeks …”.
- Speak slowly so that your partner understands you. Do not just explode showing all your feelings of anger or you cannot understand.
- Remember: nobody wins a prize for talking more. Touch all the key points you want to talk about, but “do not” just talk and talk until you feel overwhelmed.
- Expressing your thoughts directly removes any resentment and confusion. Instead of offering alternatives for your plans to go to a party, tell the truth: you do not want to see some people after a difficult week at work. Say something like “I’m sorry, I do not feel like going to a party.”
Use words like “I” or “me.” Do not start a sentence accusing your partner of having made mistakes. If you say something like “You always do …” or “You never do …”, then you will be defensive and less likely to listen to your reasons. Instead, say something like “I’ve realized that” or “Lately, I feel like …”. Focusing your discussion on your feelings will make you feel like you’re not complaining and that it’s part of a productive conversation.
- Even saying something like “Lately, I feel cast aside” sounds better than saying “You’ve been pushing me aside”.
- Even if you say the same thing using “I” and “me” sentences, doing it this way will make you less defensive and you can communicate openly.
Stay as calm as possible. Although you cannot be as cool as a lettuce when you are in the middle of a heated argument, the calmer you are, the better you can express yourself. Therefore, if you feel angry or upset while discussing “before” talking about it, take a deep breath until you feel calm enough to start a productive conversation.
- Speak slowly and calmly to articulate your ideas.
- Do not try to speak louder than your partner. You will only make him more angry.
- Take a deep breath. Do not get hysterical while arguing.
Maintain positive body language This can help you maintain a positive tone during the discussion. Look at her eyes and turn towards her. You can use your arms to gesture your words, but do not move them too much so it does not look like you’re losing color. Do not cross your arms over your chest or you will feel that you are not willing to listen to it.
- You should not be restless looking at the objects around you, unless it helps you release some energy.
Project your ideas with confidence. This does not mean that you should talk to your partner as if it were a business meeting. Do not go to the room, wave with your hand and explain your ideas. Instead, project confidence by acting as comfortably as possible with the situation. Smile from time to time and do not hesitate to ask many questions or sound dubious when you say something. If your partner doubts your feelings, he will not take you seriously.
- The more confidence you have, the less likely you are to feel scared or exhausted. This helps you to establish your ideas.
Plan your performance before starting to discuss. This is a very important point. When you know you will argue with your partner, do not argue or start complaining about the things you have been doing wrong. Even if you feel upset or hurt for many reasons, it is important to focus on the main point and the results you want to achieve with your conversation. If your only goal is to make him feel bad for his actions, then you should think about it before discussing.
- Part of your plan should be “when”