Each woman is different. If all were equal, you would not be interested in one in particular, would you? There are as many different ways to attract a woman as there are women in the world, so it is better to start with some basic rules to win over any woman worth the effort.
Make you noticed
Have your own life. If you tend to enter the “friends zone”, this is a very important first advice. Real girls (those who have a strong sense of what they want and what they are worth) do not like boys who do not have a life of their own or who stick to them as clinging film. Some girls usually do it, but for the wrong reason: either they are insecure and seek permanent attention or they are sick of the control they need to dominate their partners. Unless you accept any of these scenarios, concentrate on filling your time with your own friendships, interests, hobbies and goals. This will also give you the opportunity to do something with you without it being a date.
It looks good. Stay well dressed and in shape. If you want a girl to notice you, basic hygiene and good looks are extremely important. The girls notice things like bad breath, body odor or oily hair, among other things, before discovering if you’re interesting or not. Give them the opportunity to see your virtues by giving them a good first impression with your appearance.
- Keep in shape. Start exercising regularly: go for a run, do sit-ups, mark your abs, etc. And keep in mind that although being fit is important, you should not go over the limit. If you are too muscular, you will think you care more about going to the gym than relating to people. Also, some girls do not like the idea of having the Incredible Hulk as a boyfriend and makes you look slightly silly. Therefore, try to be in shape, but do not overdo it. In other words, stay in shape without being obsessive or see yourself as a pair of biceps with legs.
- Have good personal hygiene. Brush your teeth, shave, etc. If you do not have a toothbrush on hand, have fresh candies or mints. When you take care of yourself, you become more attractive to others and, therefore, it will have a positive impact on your level of confidence. Make sure you smell and see yourself always well, take a shower regularly and remember that nothing is worse than the smell you give off after the gym, so use deodorant.
Talk to her It is unlikely that a girl who does not know you exist will be interested in you. Make the effort to talk to her, even to face her even if you can scare her at first. Highlight your compatibility as friends and a little more talking about hobbies and interests they have in common. Become your friend or, otherwise, you will not be able to know you well.
- Find a hobby that both of you like. It does not matter if it is to practice some sport or a matter of the school. If you both like hockey, invite her to watch a game together. If they like video games, they can play or you can insist they play if they do not. All girls are different in the things they like and the ones they do not like.
- If you need to polish your conversation skills, read the following articles:
- How to converse
- How to get to interesting conversation topics
- How to start a conversation without having anything to talk about
Make her laugh. Telling jokes or funny stories is the most direct way to make a person laugh, but not the only one. Be daring and think of other things that could also make her laugh like, for example, clowning. Find out what your comedians, funny movies or series of your choice are. Look at them with her Tell him to propose to do something and do it (as long as it is not illegal of course). Laughter will come alone if both are relaxed and enjoying each other’s company. The more you laugh, the more you want to spend time with you.
Become her friend. The girls do not fall in love with complete strangers (some do, but the relationships they build do not usually get very far!). Start being friendly without invading their spaces. Know her and start sharing time with her as friends.
- If you are in the same class as her, find out her name. Every time he enters the classroom, smile and greet him. Sometimes this is all you have to do to make her notice you. At the same time, do not do it too often or you’ll make her think you’re obsessed with her. If you’re worried about what you might think, say hello to some other friend when she enters. If she has not seen you and passes by you, greet her amicably, but do not interrupt the class or a conversation she may be having.
- If she is a shy girl, she may smile at you without any other gesture of sympathy, but do not think that she does it because she is not interested in you.
- If you want your relationship to advance quickly, do not get stuck in the quicksand of the “friend’s zone”. Sometimes a girl will tell you that she does not go out with you for fear of ruining the friendship they have. To change this, flirt with her often. Women only open up with men they trust and know; you can only get it by taking the time to meet her with friendly talks. However, do not declare too fast. Part of the grace is that tension. Be patient. Girls DETEST to be forced to do something, especially when it comes to relationships.
Stay away from the friend zone
Flirts. Flirting will help you to be out of the friend’s zone because you will remember that you are attractive as well as being a good friend. When you see or meet a girl you like, make brief eye contact and smile. Find moments to have suggestive conversations and see how he reacts. If you avoid looking her in the eyes and you are nervous, then it will be difficult to interpret your intentions. Girls react mainly through body language and emotions. If you make them feel good, they will see you as fun and interested in them. If you scare them, they will get nervous and think if they should stay or “flee”, where they will mostly choose the latter.
- Relax. Do not put all the pressure on you thinking of her as the girl of your dreams. Try not to worry about what will happen if you make a bad joke or say something wrong. She could be as nervous as you and small mistakes will go unnoticed or they will simply be ignored. Do not worry if flirting is difficult at first. The more you talk to girls, the more relaxed you will feel. Girls are often the most restless because thousands of different answers appear in their heads when answering a question of yours. They exhaust themselves by choosing the right one and that makes them so aware of it that they will hardly notice a bad joke that you do to alleviate your discomfort.
- Enjoy interacting with this attractive and friendly girl who crossed your path. Although you do not want to despair, do not forget that your goal is to conquer it. Do not say things that seem too direct or that could bother you. The most important thing is that you start to like it.
If you really like someone, you probably appreciate a lot of things about them. What better than to let him know? If you have something different or new (your haircut, the color of your nails, a T-shirt, etc.), mention it. The more unique the compliment, the better you will receive it.
- Most girls enjoy being recognized for something that makes them different, not for something that makes them equal to any other. If you flatter your appearance, try to be original, perhaps by specifying a particular quality. Better yet, flatters your personality or talents. If you’re not sure how to make a good compliment, read the article “How to flatter girls.”
- Do not tell her she’s beautiful too often. If she’s cute, it’s likely that many other guys have told her before. It may sound repetitive after a while. If you are going to praise her, express yourself by making a comment about her personality, about how well she does something, the way she does things, etc. Flattering her appearance too much can make her think you are very superficial and that maybe all you want is to have sex with her, and that is not the impression you want to make her.
There is not a single answer in this case. What impresses a girl may be indifferent to another. The best you can do is being yourself. Show him something that makes you unique or something difficult that you do well, something that distinguishes you from the rest. This way you will not only make her feel good about you, but at the same time you will strengthen your confidence.
- Be careful with being overly presumptuous. Print it, but do not brag too much about your successes and projects. While self-confidence is a quality, being presumed is a negative aspect that almost no girl enjoys.
Break the barrier of physical contact. There are many ways to do it without looking promiscuous. Hold your coat while you put it on. Give your hand when you are walking on an uneven surface. Grab your hand to advance in a tide of people. Catch her if she stumbles. If he is euphoric, hug her and hit the five with her. If you are worried, put your hand on her shoulder to comfort her. These are polite ways to approach her without frightening her.
- Girls are more sensitive to touch than most men, even if they seem tough. Therefore, make sure to keep a soft touch. For example, do not pat her on the back, but touch her shoulder. If you see any sign of discomfort, stop!
Evaluate the situation. Once there is a bit of mutual attraction, start throwing the “hook” to see if you’re catching it. A good way to catch it would be to be provocative while remaining ambiguous. This is also the strategy of women; therefore, keep your attention on what may be making you know through jokes or double meanings.
- There is a particular look of a woman who will help you to know if you have understood the situation well. It is as if they had agreed without saying a word. He will look at you for a few seconds, wondering if you have understood or not. When you do, hold your eyes, smile and relax. This is like being at a point of the highest score in the world; it is probably the most fragile moment in the history of both. Wait for her to say the next word and cross her fingers wishing it was a yes.
Take your time. Do not be demanding or needy. Sympathetic girls often need more time than boys to develop deep feelings. Keep courting her by following the steps above, but do not hurry the process. If you end up in a relationship with this girl, she will always remember how you made her feel at the beginning.
- Make her feel valued, not invisible or postponed. Persecute the persecution slowly and gently (but without losing perseverance) to lessen the fear of sexual advances (if any), appear too desperate and allow you to feel relaxed with a man in your life. Do not force the relationship; Look carefully for the clues I give you about where and when you can see it again.
Ask her for get out
Invite her out. Once you feel comfortable, invite her to go somewhere to do something together. Make sure you choose something that you both enjoy. If you want, you can show him your world. Take it somewhere where you feel comfortable and preferably, one where you have or have something that makes you feel proud.
- Another option is to show your interest by knowing your world. He likes music? Ask him if he would touch something for you. Is she very good with math? Ask him to read your report or his thesis.
- If neither of you still feels comfortable with the idea of exposing your personal lives to that level, simply go out to eat or choose somewhere where you can converse without interruption.
Make her feel important. Chivalry has not died. Keep her alive by opening the doors for her, holding an umbrella, helping her carry things when her hands are full, lending her a coat and worrying about her. The mark of a true gentleman is to make a lady feel like one. Women want to feel important and valued. When you communicate with her, make an effort to say more than less and to get to know each other better instead of basing the conversation on generic information. When you want to invite her to do something, ask her in person and, if possible, let her be at home. She should feel that you are prepared to make a greater effort and that it is not an adventure of little time and nothing more.
Be romantic. The stereotyped icons of romance (roses, candles, chocolates and teddy bears) can be more than that. Think about what really excites that girl that you like. Recognize what it is that makes it unique. Find things to do with her that she can appreciate. Being romantic means recognizing that the other person is special and that means that you know better than anyone in the world the things that make it unique.
- Pay attention when you speak. Keep a mental list of the things that you like and that make it unique. What are your interests, obsessions and fantasies? What makes your eyes light? The girls immediately perceive if you remember the things they told you a long time ago.
Trust each other. Tell her what things you enjoy, what things excite you and find out what are the things that excite her. Be positive. If you had a bad day, just greet her with a big smile. The most important thing is that you listen to what she has to tell you. Whether you talk about yourself, your family or your hobbies, pay attention to what it says. Some things may be important to know it better and imagine what the relationship between them will be like if they keep moving forward. Seat when you hear it and also respond to what she says by showing you that you are paying attention. Women admire boys who show sincere interest in what they have to say.
Be yourself. You are unique. Be authentic. Bring out the best in you. Let him know how honest you are. Use your talents and virtues and let her know you. If you have a great sense of humor, share it with her. If you love science, poetry, politics or sports, let them know you like them. The indicated woman will fall in love with you and will love you because of your way of being.
- Do not be afraid to smile. Even if you do not have many reasons to smile, it will make you look like a centered and friendly person. It will make it easier for you to get closer, especially if you are just getting to know her.
- Have good manners. That will help her to notice you. For example, open the doors or pull a chair over so you can sit down. If you are just getting to know her, other more subtle gestures will help you. Do not scare her by bringing her a chair in the school cafeteria if she barely knows you. And when you do, do not stay looking at her with the face of a duck for her to thank you. Offer him a chair, wait for him to sit down and then sit down again. Open the door for her, listen to her if she is talking and enter behind her. Continue doing what you were doing. If she thanks you, smile or say “With pleasure”. Do not make it look like it’s a big deal, because you should feel that it’s natural for you to do it.
- Girls like boys who are honest with themselves. That shows that they do not try to be more than they are. If you try to build a false image to impress her, you will make it more difficult to gain her trust as soon as she discovers it and this will happen at some point.
- If you know when her birthday is, maybe you can give her a gift card from her favorite store (it does not have to be very expensive, she will appreciate it anyway) or that scarf you heard her comment with her friends. The simple act of 1) remembering her birthday and 2) having bought her some bauble will make her considers you a very sweet boy.
- Do not talk about dating you had with other girls, especially on your first date with her. You will easily find better and more enjoyable things to talk about.
- Understand that the fact that girls like “bad guys” more is a myth. Most of them like a sweet boy rather than a slob that ships them because of their physical appearance. If you are sweet instead of any other attitude, your relationships will be strong and lasting.
- Be honest. Never lie to impress her.
- Do not talk about yourself all the time. People tend to talk too much about themselves, especially when they are nervous. If you feel you must say something, ask something. Remember to listen to it as long as you speak.
- Try not to compare it with other girls you’ve met in dating, do not even do it mentally.
- Remember, the girl you like is not a trophy or a goal. You are discovering if the relationship between you will work for a long time. If both choose to advance, whatever it is, it will be best for both of them.
- Keep the hygiene. You have no idea how much this advice will help you. Body odor and lack of cleanliness are two things that take away the will of anyone. This includes bad breath, flatulence, belching and the smell of food. Take a shower and brush your teeth daily (right before you see it is ideal), cut your nails and wash your clothes regularly. Some girls hate the smell of cigarettes or too strong perfumes.
- Do not try to be perfect or expect her to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. Accept that have defects, can make mistakes and can sometimes have bad days.
- Never try to make her jealous. This tends to become a disadvantage later. If you want to find out if she really likes you, ask her friends. Or compare the way he acts when you’re around and when he’s around other kids. If you act differently when you are close, then there is something there. Trust your instincts. If you think there is good chemistry between you and her, be patient and let the romance grow. Do not ask him to tell you about his previous appointments or tell them your own, even if he asks you again and again. If you can show loyalty, the relationship will advance better and more calmly. A woman can take this seriously, and if your way of showing her your interest in her is by keeping an eye on all the other women in the restaurant, you might be left feeling insensitive.
- Too much of anything is bad. Worrying too much about her, taking every opportunity to touch her, bathing her with compliments of all kinds or telling jokes to overshadow a comedian can ruin your chances with that girl. Try to be more casual at the beginning.
- Do not be too perverted at the time of the conquest. It can be a sign that you want her body more than her. Many girls do not like rude boys or talk about their bodies. Some do (very rarely), but others do not.
- Do not tell him rude jokes. It’s rude. 99 percent of girls who listen to a joke of this type will not laugh at all. They will simply think that you are unpleasant, immature and will get away from you. But there is a 1 percent who loves it and enjoys it immensely.
- Do not obsess over her. If he does not want to go out with you, it means that he does not want anyone to watch over him night and day. Think of another candidate.
- Always do the courtship and the invitations face to face. You must show courage, confidence and courtesy. If you know where he lives, never ask him personal questions by email. Do not use contact forms that can be easily falsified.
- Do not try to impress her by doing reckless acts or making a fool of yourself, so the only thing you could achieve is that she thinks you are immature and give her reasons to not like you and get away. Remember that this way of “impressing” girls is typical of children and pre-teens.