For the desperately lonely, finding the ideal partner seems an intimidating, impossible task. However, the truth about finding an ideal partner is actually very simple, it’s just that many people do not know where to look or how to start. If you want to get out of single life and start a loving relationship, this article is aimed at helping you find a way to start your search. Note that although it is written in masculine for brevity purposes, it applies to both genders unless otherwise specified.
First determine what it is you want. The first step to finding your ideal partner is a paper and a pencil. No, you’re not going to write a classified ad; What you are going to do is make a list of your attributes and those that you want in your partner. The list should include: your personality characteristics and those of your desired partner; your physical characteristics and those that your desired partner will have; as well as interests, hobbies, religion and beliefs (both yours and your partner must have the same religion or have a value system or lack of this), the desire for children and your willingness to accept the children of another person, your communication style, etc. You might want to seek help from your friends for the personality part, as well as from your past relationships. If you consider this, it will be easier for you to recognize which personality types you are best at.
Turn the list into a profile of the type of partner you are looking for. This is the skeleton of a person, it should not be a list of demands, and rather it is a basic description of the soul you are looking for. The list must be realistic and prioritized.
- When looking at the profile you will see what aspects are important to you that you had not noticed. For example, suppose you like to be outdoors and exercise, then look for a walking group-perhaps a religious group, a community group, or a local open-air club, such as the Sierra Club.
- Although you do not have to have everything in common with someone, finding someone who has some things in common with you is a good start.
Find out what other people tend to look for in a couple, use it to understand what other people are looking for. This could allow you to emphasize your strengths in whatever area, to clearly indicate which accounts with the interesting characteristics, or do the activities that your potential partner is looking for. Some of the most popular things men and women look for, some in others are:
- Women seek, in order: personality, sense of humor, common interests, intelligence, neatness, attractiveness, sensuality, getting to know man through a friend, voice, spirituality, profession, money, talent and, finally, religion .
- Men are looking for: personality, sense of humor, intelligence, common interests, beauty, neatness, sensuality, voice, talent, spirituality, money, religion, get to know the woman through a friend and, finally, profession.
Love yourself and your body. This is the hottest advice of the century, your ideal partner is going to be the person who loves you as you are and who sees you as well. If you cannot accept this reality, then you need to develop your confidence and the mentality of wanting to be in compliance with whatever your partner says should be eliminated. The things you should keep in mind to help you in your search for the ideal partner includes:
- You’re worth it. Yes, it really is true, and try it walking upright, with your head held high, smiling and feeling safe. That is attractive and it will show potential couples that you are accessible and that you are sure of yourself.
- List all the great things about yourself – why are you a great friend, what are your top 10 achievements, what are you proud of in life, and why are you a great match.
- Dress to look good, not to be fashionable, or for the brand or, worse, the size on the label. Whether you’re a man or a woman, good clothing that highlights your strengths is always attractive and makes you stand out from others.
- Feel comfortable with your body. It is much more attractive than sending constant signals that you are paranoid because of the size of your buttocks or because of the flaccidity of your arms.
Start searching Find groups and social events in which your partner could spend time, and in which there could be many conversations with each of the people involved. It is very important that you locate yourself in the places where you can find your ideal partner, instead of waiting for that person to be the next person to sit in the next bench in the bar. The best places to look for your ideal partner are those in which you enjoy spending time, since it is possible that this first shared interest will start things. The places to spend time looking for your ideal partner includes:
- Singles groups. These could be groups in local churches, dating services or online. They are the most obvious source because everyone has openly declared that they are looking for someone and, while they have their mistakes, the good news is that they are all there for the same purpose. You might discover that your perfect partner on a hiking trip is married, or that there are no potential spouses in the car care and maintenance club, while the singles groups at least guarantee that!
- Hobbies and sports clubs. Of course, in these environments you will need to know the civil status of others, but if you are participating in something that you are enjoying anyway, what is the hurry? You have many opportunities to find out about the other people who are there and decide who is free and of interest to you, all while practicing a sport or dedicating yourself to a hobby or other interest. The fact of shared interest will probably increase your chances of compatibility.
- Work place. In your workplace you will know very soon who is single and who is not. The bad side is continuous proximity and gossip; It could also be more difficult, later, if both are in the same office, and they want the same promotion, but it is something that you will have to face later. The path of a shared career can, in fact, be really beneficial for some couples, and it means that they are ideal for each other.
- On holiday. This is a great time to find people who are in their relaxed attitude. The bad side is that they could live and / or work very far, and they could be in it just as a vacation adventure. Ask some questions before falling for someone on vacation.
Do not be too demanding from the beginning. You are not setting up a laptop, you and your future partner are looking, or at least they are open) to someone to know and make happy. He meets many people casually in different contexts, with the vision placed on a few attributes and widely compatible personalities. Keep an open mind to the small details that you and that special someone can improve or commit to doing, so that they are not a concern afterwards.
- If you persistently demand a precise combination of attributes from the beginning, you probably will not find it, perhaps, with your demands, you could even throw someone you might have liked and, finally, tired of looking for, accepting a not too good relationship from the beginning, too late to start a family.
- In particular, do not worry about the finer points of appearance: just like with a beautiful car you’ve had for a while, you will not notice the details over time, but you will affectionately recognize them all.
It makes a good first impression. Get dressed and introduce yourself well when you start flirting and going out. People make judgments based on the initial appearance, and it may be the only opportunity you have to make a difference. Good grooming, pleasant manners and giving the best of you are important aspects to maintain your attractiveness.
- Use that sense of humor. Both men and women cite this feature as very important and there is a good reason for that. Humor is what helps reduce all the discomfort of dating and also allows both of you to know that you are humble and that you are not self-important. More specifically, a person with a sense of humor is definitely the favorite choice for a lifetime commitment, well above a grumpy one.
Do not rush things and give the relationship enough time to develop. When you find someone who seems to fit the profile, breathe deeply and go slowly. Spend a lot of time talking, listening and seeing different aspects of this person that interest you. Of course, you want to have attraction, but you also want to get to know this person well. In addition, you want to see how they interact in a wide range of situations, such as fun, stressful periods, before the family and in professional situations.
- Forget privacy for a while. Depending on your religious beliefs and age, this may not be a choice, but even if it is not, delaying intimacy can help you to be sure of being with your ideal partner, rather than suffering from falling in love. The excitement and attraction in new relationships can overcome the desire to know each other if they surrender to each other too soon. Affection can look a lot like love initially, so make sure your heart and mind before surrendering to intimacy.
- Use the time they leave to check your partner’s reactions to the activities and hobbies you enjoy. If you get involved in many of the things that interest you, this is a great sign of possible compatibility.