Who does not want to fall in love? It’s almost a universal desire, as common as a hash tag in a tweet from one of the Kardashian sisters. If you are interested in a girl and you desperately want to correspond, there are some ways to inspire your interest. Most importantly, be yourself and respect it for who it is.
Understanding the attraction
Keep in mind the way physical attraction works. The attraction is based on brain chemistry. A group of neurotransmitters called monoamines (dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin) creates the sensation we experience as attraction.
- Dopamine is one of the chemicals in your brain that makes you “feel good” (that’s where the term “dope” comes from). It is also found in the motivation and reward systems of your brain. When you know someone to whom you feel attraction, dopamine begins to send chemical “rewards” that make you feel good to your organism.
- Norepinephrine, sometimes known as noradrenaline (but not the same as adrenaline), sends messages to your central nervous system. Norepinephrine is responsible for your ability to “block” information that is not as interesting as the beautiful girl in front of you.
- Serotonin regulates a number of things in your body, including sexual behavior and body temperature. When you feel a strong attraction to a person, serotonin decreases your body temperature, which makes your skin slightly more able to conduct electricity. This is the reason why love can cause a tingling in the skin, literally speaking.
- In fact, experts say that attraction stimulates the same chemicals in the brain as addiction, such as dopamine and oxytocin. If a girl is not attracted to you, it has nothing to do with you, because everything depends on the chemicals in each person’s brain.
- A researcher at Rutgers University suggests that it takes less than a second for the brain to decide whether someone is attractive or not. There is a possibility that you can overcome this first impression of fraction of a second, but it is also possible that you will not achieve it. If the second occurs, do not take it personally, as people cannot choose whom to feel attracted to.
Watch your health. If you want a girl to fall in love with you, you must show her that you are capable of loving yourself in the first place. What is considered “attractive” is highly subjective and each person has different tastes. However, things such as good personal care, exercise and a healthy diet will keep your body feeling and looking strong and healthy, which is a great sign of the evolution of your “reproductive capacity”. Basically, it’s a sign that your genes are also strong and healthy.
- Staying well-groomed and healthy will also demonstrate self-confidence and healthy respect for yourself, which most people often find attractive.
- This does not mean that you should exaggerate and brag about your clothes or become a bodybuilder. Just try to be the best version of yourself.
Get ready to see you well. Your physical appearance and your presence are the best first impression and, in general, the most important. You can have an excellent profile and online interaction, but if you personally know the girl, you smell very bad and your clothes are not nice, that first impression will be much stronger than what you have given in any virtual chat room.
- Control your body odor in more industrialized societies; women avoid people with a bad body odor. A man, who does not bathe frequently, does not wear an antiperspirant, or even puts on smelly clothing will not be successful with women.
- Take care of your body. It is completely possible to find love despite having an imperfect body (one obese, with eczema, baldness, etc.). However, if you do your best to maximize your appearance, you will be more attractive and you will feel more secure.
- Wear attractive clothes All societies have an idea of the type of clothing that is considered attractive, as well as the one that indicates virility, confidence and masculinity. If your clothes are unattractive or strange, it will indicate that there may be something wrong with you.
Learn some messages behind body language. Body language can be conscious (like winking someone’s eye) or subconscious (like having redness on the lips). People communicate a variety of messages through body language, among which are the language of attraction. Most of the body language related to physical attraction communicates a few basic messages, which are the following:
- I’m available.
- I’m interested.
- I will not hurt you.
- I am fertile.
- I’m accessible
Look for open body language. Body language cues that indicate things like “I’m available” and “I’m approachable” suggest that the other person is interested in you. Look for the following signs:
- Make eye contact with you
- Look up (instead of being absorbed with a phone, etc.)
- Stand or sit with arms and legs relaxed and uncrossed
- Keep your feet pointing towards you during a conversation
Look for the signs of attraction. Part of body language is unconscious and occurs when we feel attracted to someone. Others are more conscious behaviors. Looking for these signs will help you determine if the girl you are interested in corresponds to you. Some of them are the following:
- Her cheeks are flushed.
- Her lips are flushed and they seem to be widening.
- It has dilated pupils
- The person removes a “blockage” from your path (like moving a bag that stands between you).
- You have a sudden tachycardia or faster breathing.
- She licks his lips.
- It subtly imitates your body language. For example, if you support your weight on one side, do something similar after a while.
- It touches you at times. For example, it may touch your arm, wrist or knee lightly.
- Remember that none of these behaviors will definitely indicate that you are attracted to you. While they are good signals, do not rush conclusions. There is a possibility that the girl with pink cheeks and dilated pupils that moves her bag so that you sit on the bus seat is just being polite, usually blushes easily and has just left a medical consultation.
Observe his smile. An authentic smile from a woman could be a sign that she wants to be more attractive to you (it could also be simply a sign that she is kind, so be sure to observe the other signs of her body language). Observe the facial muscles used when smiling to have an idea of whether it is real or not.
- Authentic smiles, also known as Duchenne’s smile, employ the muscles around the eyes as well as the ones in the mouth. False smiles usually move only the muscles around the mouth and their appearance is airtight or empty. There is a reason why Tyra Banks always tells the models that they “smile with their eyes”.
Point out your own attraction. Once you have determined whether you are attracted or not, you can do some things with your body language to tell the girl that you are interested in her.
- Make eye contact with her and smile at her.
- Get closer to her. You can sit at a nearby table in the cafeteria or take a napkin while in the condiment dispenser. This can help you collect your pheromones, which helps to show the attraction.
- Tilt your head when you talk to him or look at him. This is a signal that shows interest.
Try a strategy to start a conversation. Also known as “piropo”, this strategy is a way to start a conversation. Although at first a whistling can seem chilling, it is not necessary to use a strategy that allows you to start a conversation. Studies suggest that there are three types of strategies to start a conversation:
- The strategy directly. She is honest and goes straight to the point, like saying “I think you’re very cute” or “I’m a bit shy, but I’d love to talk to you.” In general, men prefer these types of strategies when others initiate conversation with them.
- The innocuous strategy. This keeps a conversation but does not go directly to the point, like saying “What do you think of this place?” Or “Do you come here often?” In general, women prefer these types of strategies when others initiate conversation with them.
- The cute or superficial strategy. It involves humor, but it is often cheesy or even unpleasant, like saying “Do you like scrambled or fertilized eggs?” Both men and women in general classify these types of strategies as the least attractive option.
- If you are a heterosexual boy looking to start a conversation with a girl, your best option is to use a harmless strategy.
- Studies have also shown that honest and supportive strategies often give rise to long-term relationships, while those that resort to manipulation or deception (such as cute or superficial strategy) produce short-term relationships.
Try to give a soft touch if you think she wants it. Touch is an excellent way to demonstrate physical attraction. Do not be too creepy, but if you’ve talked to a girl for a while and seem interested in you, you can rub her arm lightly or touch her hand.
- Do not touch a girl unless she gives you strong signals of her interest in you. Even in that case, proceed with care. In general, it is a good idea to wait until she initiates some type of contact.
- If the girl reacts negatively to physical contact, do not try again for a while.