Who does not want to fall in love? It’s almost a universal desire, as common as a hash tag in a tweet from one of the Kardashian sisters. If you are interested in a girl and you desperately want to correspond, there are some ways to inspire your interest. Most importantly, be yourself and respect it for who it is.
Understanding the attraction
Keep in mind the way physical attraction works. The attraction is based on brain chemistry. A group of neurotransmitters called monoamines (dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin) creates the sensation we experience as attraction.
- Dopamine is one of the chemicals in your brain that makes you “feel good” (that’s where the term “dope” comes from). It is also found in the motivation and reward systems of your brain. When you know someone to whom you feel attraction, dopamine begins to send chemical “rewards” that make you feel good to your organism.
- Norepinephrine, sometimes known as noradrenaline (but not the same as adrenaline), sends messages to your central nervous system. Norepinephrine is responsible for your ability to “block” information that is not as interesting as the beautiful girl in front of you.
- Serotonin regulates a number of things in your body, including sexual behavior and body temperature. When you feel a strong attraction to a person, serotonin decreases your body temperature, which makes your skin slightly more able to conduct electricity. This is the reason why love can cause a tingling in the skin, literally speaking.
- In fact, experts say that attraction stimulates the same chemicals in the brain as addiction, such as dopamine and oxytocin. If a girl is not attracted to you, it has nothing to do with you, because everything depends on the chemicals in each person’s brain.
- A researcher at Rutgers University suggests that it takes less than a second for the brain to decide whether someone is attractive or not. There is a possibility that you can overcome this first impression of fraction of a second, but it is also possible that you will not achieve it. If the second occurs, do not take it personally, as people cannot choose whom to feel attracted to.
Watch your health. If you want a girl to fall in love with you, you must show her that you are capable of loving yourself in the first place. What is considered “attractive” is highly subjective and each person has different tastes. However, things such as good personal care, exercise and a healthy diet will keep your body feeling and looking strong and healthy, which is a great sign of the evolution of your “reproductive capacity”. Basically, it’s a sign that your genes are also strong and healthy.
- Staying well-groomed and healthy will also demonstrate self-confidence and healthy respect for yourself, which most people often find attractive.
- This does not mean that you should exaggerate and brag about your clothes or become a bodybuilder. Just try to be the best version of yourself.
Get ready to see you well. Your physical appearance and your presence are the best first impression and, in general, the most important. You can have an excellent profile and online interaction, but if you personally know the girl, you smell very bad and your clothes are not nice, that first impression will be much stronger than what you have given in any virtual chat room.
- Control your body odor in more industrialized societies; women avoid people with a bad body odor. A man, who does not bathe frequently, does not wear an antiperspirant, or even puts on smelly clothing will not be successful with women.
- Take care of your body. It is completely possible to find love despite having an imperfect body (one obese, with eczema, baldness, etc.). However, if you do your best to maximize your appearance, you will be more attractive and you will feel more secure.
- Wear attractive clothes All societies have an idea of the type of clothing that is considered attractive, as well as the one that indicates virility, confidence and masculinity. If your clothes are unattractive or strange, it will indicate that there may be something wrong with you.
Learn some messages behind body language. Body language can be conscious (like winking someone’s eye) or subconscious (like having redness on the lips). People communicate a variety of messages through body language, among which are the language of attraction. Most of the body language related to physical attraction communicates a few basic messages, which are the following:
- I’m available.
- I’m interested.
- I will not hurt you.
- I am fertile.
- I’m accessible
Look for open body language. Body language cues that indicate things like “I’m available” and “I’m approachable” suggest that the other person is interested in you. Look for the following signs:
- Make eye contact with you
- Look up (instead of being absorbed with a phone, etc.)
- Stand or sit with arms and legs relaxed and uncrossed
- Keep your feet pointing towards you during a conversation
Look for the signs of attraction. Part of body language is unconscious and occurs when we feel attracted to someone. Others are more conscious behaviors. Looking for these signs will help you determine if the girl you are interested in corresponds to you. Some of them are the following:
- Her cheeks are flushed.
- Her lips are flushed and they seem to be widening.
- It has dilated pupils
- The person removes a “blockage” from your path (like moving a bag that stands between you).
- You have a sudden tachycardia or faster breathing.
- She licks his lips.
- It subtly imitates your body language. For example, if you support your weight on one side, do something similar after a while.
- It touches you at times. For example, it may touch your arm, wrist or knee lightly.
- Remember that none of these behaviors will definitely indicate that you are attracted to you. While they are good signals, do not rush conclusions. There is a possibility that the girl with pink cheeks and dilated pupils that moves her bag so that you sit on the bus seat is just being polite, usually blushes easily and has just left a medical consultation.
Observe his smile. An authentic smile from a woman could be a sign that she wants to be more attractive to you (it could also be simply a sign that she is kind, so be sure to observe the other signs of her body language). Observe the facial muscles used when smiling to have an idea of whether it is real or not.
- Authentic smiles, also known as Duchenne’s smile, employ the muscles around the eyes as well as the ones in the mouth. False smiles usually move only the muscles around the mouth and their appearance is airtight or empty. There is a reason why Tyra Banks always tells the models that they “smile with their eyes”.
Point out your own attraction. Once you have determined whether you are attracted or not, you can do some things with your body language to tell the girl that you are interested in her.
- Make eye contact with her and smile at her.
- Get closer to her. You can sit at a nearby table in the cafeteria or take a napkin while in the condiment dispenser. This can help you collect your pheromones, which helps to show the attraction.
- Tilt your head when you talk to him or look at him. This is a signal that shows interest.
Try a strategy to start a conversation. Also known as “piropo”, this strategy is a way to start a conversation. Although at first a whistling can seem chilling, it is not necessary to use a strategy that allows you to start a conversation. Studies suggest that there are three types of strategies to start a conversation:
- The strategy directly. She is honest and goes straight to the point, like saying “I think you’re very cute” or “I’m a bit shy, but I’d love to talk to you.” In general, men prefer these types of strategies when others initiate conversation with them.
- The innocuous strategy. This keeps a conversation but does not go directly to the point, like saying “What do you think of this place?” Or “Do you come here often?” In general, women prefer these types of strategies when others initiate conversation with them.
- The cute or superficial strategy. It involves humor, but it is often cheesy or even unpleasant, like saying “Do you like scrambled or fertilized eggs?” Both men and women in general classify these types of strategies as the least attractive option.
- If you are a heterosexual boy looking to start a conversation with a girl, your best option is to use a harmless strategy.
- Studies have also shown that honest and supportive strategies often give rise to long-term relationships, while those that resort to manipulation or deception (such as cute or superficial strategy) produce short-term relationships.
Try to give a soft touch if you think she wants it. Touch is an excellent way to demonstrate physical attraction. Do not be too creepy, but if you’ve talked to a girl for a while and seem interested in you, you can rub her arm lightly or touch her hand.
- Do not touch a girl unless she gives you strong signals of her interest in you. Even in that case, proceed with care. In general, it is a good idea to wait until she initiates some type of contact.
- If the girl reacts negatively to physical contact, do not try again for a while. Showing respect and giving your space could be advantageous for you. On the contrary, being too aggressive will have the opposite effect.
- Make sure that your physical contact is appropriate within your culture. What is acceptable in one country may not be acceptable in another. Also, what is considered normal in a public school might not be normal in an ultraconservative Christian school?
- If you are not sure, request physical contact! For example, extend your hand to give a friendly squeeze, or ask “Can I hold you?” Or “Would you like me to help you put sunscreen on your back?” Thus, you can use physical contact in a way that respects your limits and also be direct with it.
- Do not obsess about touching the girl. It is not necessary to touch it in the first stages of falling in love. If you exaggerate a lot or press too hard to touch it, you can significantly affect your progress and be seen as someone “spooky”.
- In general, the moment of contact “only arrives”. If there is connection and attraction, the moment will usually be given naturally. For example, when both are going to have a toast at the same time in the cafeteria or when she puts her hand on yours at the cinema.
Be an amazing person
Live your life. Who would want to have a serious relationship with someone who just sits and stands idly by all the time? If you want her to fall in love with you, go out and show her that you live an incredible life. Go out and do things that make you happy, fill your life with learning and exploration, and pursue your dreams. People usually feel more interest in others who seem to live full and happy lives on their own.
- Have you always wanted to create your own video game? You can do it! Do you want to write a book? Ahead! Do you want to become an expert speleologist? You can achieve it! Follow your dreams and you will realize that the girls will be attracted to your passion and determination.
- Maintaining your own interests after starting a relationship will also help you not to become a “codependent” person. Codependency relationships occur when one or both partners feel they cannot be complete or happy without the other person. These types of relationships are not healthy and you can avoid them by being true to your true identity. This will attract people who are also true to themselves.
Show him your charming qualities. People do not simply decide who they want to fall in love with. Love occurs because the people involved have charming qualities. This develops over time, so your job is to show the girl that you are worthy. Let your personality stand out and give you the opportunity to see who you really are and what you have to offer. It turns out that people generally consider characteristics such as humor, kindness and honesty as physically more attractive!
- Other qualities that can affect the way people perceive your attractiveness include respect, honesty, hard work and intelligence.
- Studies also suggest that heterosexual women are more likely to value personality and social traits such as kindness and intelligence over physical traits.
I am funny. Ten sense of humor. It’s no secret that girls love boys who can make jokes or be funny; in fact, it is proven! Practice jokes with your friends from time to time and learn which ones work and which ones do not. When you are alone with a girl, telling a joke can be an excellent way to break the tension.
- Remember that if you’re not good at telling jokes, you can still have a good sense of humor. You just need to feel at ease laughing and being surrounded by fun people.
- Bitter or sarcastic humor is not a good idea. Try to have a positive sense of humor and even a little self-critical.
- For example, if you are in a cafeteria, you could say something like “I was told there are two types of people: those who drink coffee and the sad ones. What do you think?”
Be playful One of the most important things that both girls and boys look for in a couple is jocosity. So you must be playful because she will think that is an attractive feature. How can you be? For example, make a boring routine, such as studying, become something interesting and fun by turning your math problem into a song. Do not take things too seriously and, most importantly, be able to laugh at yourself.
- Being able to love fun and even make fun of yourself will show girls that you are not tense or aggressive. It also makes everyone around you feel at ease, which makes your presence more pleasurable.
Have confidence in yourself. To be a genuinely charming person, you must believe that your presence is valuable. Most girls will not be attracted to people who constantly look down on themselves. Therefore, be confident, but do not be arrogant. Know your skills. Do not boast about it, but include these things in your routine and do not be afraid to make them stand out from time to time.
- The difference between real trust and arrogance lies in the way you think about yourself. True confidence means that you know who you are, and that you feel comfortable and happy with that. In general, arrogance arises from a need to compete or belittle others to feel more confident. Really confident kids do not need to belittle anyone or behave like louts to show they know how great they are.
- If you feel the need to insult yourself, be sure to say it like a joke. Laugh at the mistakes you make and the nonsense you make, as well as those you do not like about you. For example: “Seriously, you DO NOT want me to invite you to dance. I am a terrible dancer, and a danger to myself and to others. It is the best for everyone”.
Win her heart
Know her knowing the girl is more than memorizing her birthday and where she was born. Spend time with her, develop confidence and appreciate things that she does not show you very often. Know your fear of water (and the reason you have it) or your most embarrassing moment (and help her laugh at him). Understand their way of thinking and what they believe. This will help you to love her as a whole person, something she will appreciate more than you can understand.
- A good way to start is to ask an open question. For example, social psychologist Arthur Aaron has generated headlines with his list of 36 questions to encourage intimacy between people. They are creative and open, and ask more interesting things than their favorite movie.
- For example, you could ask questions such as “Would you like to be famous? In what way?” Or “What would be your perfect day?”
- This wills not only give you the opportunity to get to know her better, but it will also show her that you think she is intelligent and that her opinions are worthwhile.
Find out what she likes to do and then do it with her. Doing something that you know is to your liking provides the additional advantage of making her feel comfortable and safe. If you feel comfortable during an appointment, you will be more likely to come close to you, hold your hand or even kiss you.
- If you like to surf, ride a hair, go shopping or ho rear, it is a good idea to try to involve her in what she likes to do the most. Ask your friend what she likes to do in her free time or ask her directly if you feel bold enough (fortune favors you). That way, she will know that you have taken the time to find out what motivates her and that you are ready to make an effort to be happy.
Take her to incredible dates. Doing something that she likes is not necessarily a date, but if you want love to arise, you must invite her to one at some time. When you are ready to take that step, go to a familiar place like the cinema, a cafeteria or a dance venue. You can take her to an amusement park or a haunted house. Studies suggest that the emotion or feeling of danger in an appointment helps to release a chemical in the brain that unites the two people.
- Use the strategy to determine if the exit can be considered an “appointment”. In general, if the girl is already interested in you, you should make it clear that they will have an appointment in order to make sure that both are on the same page. However, if you have not noticed yet, it’s probably best to go slowly and first earn your affection as a friend before moving into a romantic relationship. On occasion, the girl will resist having a romantic relationship if she is not sure they are good friends.
Be clear you probably should not ask her to be your girlfriend the first time you meet her or even the first few times they have an appointment. However, at some point you must reveal your intentions and declare your romantic interest in it. If you wait too long, you run the risk of me thinking of you only as a friend. Ambiguity will not be your ally.
- You can also be clear about the demonstration of your continued interest. For example, if you had a great time, do not end the conversation in a bland way. Say something like “I spent a wonderful moment tonight. Can I call you tomorrow? “
Avoid exposing yourself too much at the beginning. Sometimes it’s tempting to tell a girl that you like everything about you to show her how great you are or how much you like her. This is not a great idea for two reasons:
- In the first place, it means that you talk a lot about yourself, which means that you spend less time listening to it.
- Second, it means that you could talk about things too quickly. The first dates are not the time to speak badly of your boss or of the bad person that was your ex-partner. This type of self-revelation can make you look like a person who is bitter, indiscreet or does not have a good sense of personal limits.
- You do not need to be a mystery man, but start talking about the things you like and do not like, and then let the conversations unfold naturally. If she is interested in you, she will ask your personal questions. Just make sure you maintain a good balance between what they both say.
Give her space. This does not mean pretending to be an evasive person, but rather giving the girl control over what will happen next. Stifling and intimidating her so that she can enter into a relationship with you will have the opposite effect of the expected one. Show him that you respect his life away from you. Usually, if you give a girl her own space, she will come back to you to love you on her own terms.
- When you give your space, avoid being too distant. Keep calling her regularly and showing her that you are interested in her. If you are shy, do not give too much space or think that you are not interested. You should leave a little of your shell if you want to attract their attention.
- If you just had an appointment with her and everything went very well, tell her you’ll call her before the end of the weekend in case it’s Friday. Let her take care of her life on Saturday and then call her on Sunday to tell her that you had a good time and that you would like to do something soon, probably the next week. This would be an excellent time to invite her to go out to a party or dance.
- Giving him his space consists in showing him your confidence. What you basically say is, “I had a great time with you and I like you, but I will not behave aggressively because I’m not desperate.” Girls and boys are attracted to people who are cool and calm, who do not rush or despair.
Keep an open mind
Do not judge it. Do not judge a girl by which you begin to feel something. She has her own personality and her own qualities, just like you. We all do things that make people crazy or that seem strange. You must decide if these small oddities are things you can live with or breakpoints.
- If you decide that you can live with its peculiarities, cling to that decision. Do not try to change it, criticize it or be fussy about the things that make it peculiar. Accept it for how it is.
- Her personality does not make her a bad person. Even if you decide that there is something that motivates a breakup, there is no reason to be cruel to her.
Avoid waiting for a change in her. In fact, if you can eliminate most of your “expectations” about her, you will probably be happier in your relationship. We often expect irrational things from other people that make us feel anxious or unhappy when we do not get them.
- However, this does not mean that you should not have certain expectations or that you let yourself be mistreated. It is perfectly normal to expect a person to come when he says he will (unless something inevitable happens), to treat you with kindness and respect, and to show compassion and kindness towards others.
- However, if you expect your girl to read your mind to know your needs, you will probably be disappointed because no one is able to do so.
- In addition, personalities tend to be fixed. If your girl always seems to be late and you have talked to her about how much that irritates you without anything having changed, it is likely that this problem cannot be solved. You can decide that it’s something that goes beyond your patience or let it be her (even if it’s always late), but you cannot expect it to change.
Open your eyes to the possibilities. Do not get obsessed with making a particular girl fall in love with you and do not try to “force” the love of a girl who does not feel it. Despair will never be an attractive feature.
- Meet more girls and give love more opportunities to arise. Attend school social events. Do not be afraid to go to social events at a different school in case a friend invites you. You never know when you might meet that special person who will make you sigh.
- Sometimes, when you stop to look for love, it hits you right in the face. The universe works in strange ways. Especially if you have tried very hard lately or if you think you have run out of energy, do not be afraid to withdraw from the contest. It seems counterproductive and frustrating, but it works. When you stop trying, the girls start to find you.
- Be adventurous. Maybe all the girls you know already have a partner or you are not interested in your friends. Nowadays, many children find love outside their immediate circles. If you have a certain age, try to find the appointments online. If you are interested in extracurricular activities, get involved in many of them so you can travel. When looking for the girl of your dreams, it is useful to keep an open mind and try as many adventures as possible that come across in your life.
Treat it with equality
Respect her thoughts, feelings and emotions. Try to see things from their point of view. Show him that you appreciate his opinions, even if you do not agree with them.
- It is helpful to ask these things instead of making assumptions. When I talk to you about your thoughts or feelings, listen to it.
- If you have trouble seeing things from your point of view, use first-person affirmations to ask her to explain them to you. For example: “I really want to understand what you rely on, but I do not understand it. Could you explain to me how you feel at this moment? “
Always be honest and authentic with yourself and with her. Honesty develops trust, but once it is broken, it never comes back. From that moment, your partner will suspect your words. Be yourself and be honest.
- Show your true intentions. Be honest and open about your plans and wishes. If she does not agree with them, at least you have established a starting point that can be modified so that they can be known at a more intimate level.
- There is a difference between being open and honest, and being manipulated. For example, you do not need to teach someone your text messages or emails to “prove” that you are trustworthy. You do not need to inform your location at every minute of the day. This is an invasive behavior that is not proper to healthy relationships.
Keep your disposition to listen and communicate. The most important aspect is to learn to listen patiently and actively. The understanding that you achieve will help you to communicate in a loving and helpful way. In a healthy relationship, both people feel recognized and respected.
- Listen to what I tell you. Do not practice your answer while she is still talking. Ask him to clarify something you do not understand by saying something like “I’m not sure I understood you correctly. I heard ______. Is that what you wanted to say? “This kind of clarification will also help avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
- Avoid passive aggression. Passive aggression happens when your girlfriend asks you if something is wrong and you say “No, why should it be?” When in reality you are very upset. It is a way to express anger or hurt without making a direct confrontation and can destroy communication in a relationship. Express your feelings openly and honestly, but keep the respect.
- Use first-person affirmations, such as “I feel hurt that you did not call me on Tuesday when you said you would,” instead of “You forgot to call and hurt my feelings.” Second-person assertions can cause people to become defensive and close.
- The communication must not be unidirectional. You should also feel that she listens to you and recognizes your needs.
Accept your individuality. Strive to understand what makes it unique. Actively celebrate your uniqueness and strive to encourage her to continue and develop the basic activities that give her happiness and satisfaction.
- It is excellent if you can find something that both love to do and that they can continue together. Occasionally, one of you will have to give in. For example, you may want to watch an action movie while she wants to watch the latest Pixar movie (or vice versa). Take turns with the purpose of giving each of you your own space to do what brings you happiness.
Help her achieve her dreams. Just like giving her space, you must also help her do the things she wants for herself. Usually, this will mean letting her spend time working on the things she wants to do, such as school or a skill, or doing them along with her. When you see that you support her in the things she wants for her life, she will know that you are exactly what she needs.
It shows dedication and commitment. He always stays by his side, as a friend and confidant. He forgives his weaknesses quickly and tries to strengthen the best he has. In the same way, stay open to her by becoming the best person you can be. Committed love is a society, where both bring out the best in each one. Stay within that standard as you make her fall in love with you.
Keep in mind that she is not obligated to fall in love with you. People call “friend’s zone” when someone does not match the affection of another. However, remember that you can do everything right, but that does not mean that she will fall in love with you. It is a person with free will, not an object that you can win in a video game.
- Be fun and funny, but not at the expense of someone else.
- Avoid rushing. If the forces to fall in love with you too quickly, you might have the wrong impression.
- You may really want someone to fall in love with you, but be sure to use your head as well as your heart. Love alone is the starting point of a healthy relationship. The rest depends on communication, compatibility and commitment.
- Do the things you love doing!
- Make her feel special so she knows that you really appreciate her.
- Do not send text messages just for the sake of doing it. Make sure you have a reason for that. Instead of saying “Hello, how are you?” Write “Hello, we should go to lunch, play in the park, etc. together!”. It will be difficult to establish a relationship through text messages.
- Try talking to her, showing her feelings little by little.
- Take your time to get close to her and show her your interest in the things she likes. For example, take the time to read your favorite book or to listen to your favorite music.
- Go out with your friends and your friends.
- Show her that she can count on you when necessary and always keep your willingness to advise her.
- Keep in mind that you should ask questions and get answers from her. Make him feel that you care what he thinks. Tell him interesting things.
- Remember that you may feel attracted to someone or not. If she does not feel anything for you, never press her.
- Trying to “impress” her by doing reckless or ridiculous acts (clowning) is counterproductive, she will think you are childish and will never fall in love with you.