If you have had relationships that did not last long or if you have trouble finding someone who wants to get involved in a long-term relationship, the idea of having a long and happy relationship may seem difficult to achieve. Luckily, there are steps you can take to improve the quality and duration of your relationship.
Start your relationship with the right foot
Understand your needs and desires If you want to have a successful relationship, it is important to understand your own emotional and physical needs before starting, because you will need to communicate them to your partner. You may already have a clear idea of what you need and want in a relationship, but if you’re not sure, you can think of the following questions:
- Reflect on your past relationships to determine the reason why they worked or not. What can these experiences tell you about your needs?
- Think about the way you react to people and events. For example, do you tend to react emotionally, find it hard to trust someone or express your feelings? It may be helpful to consider these personality traits before entering into a serious relationship.
Make sure the reasons for having a relationship are healthy instead of the opposite. Keep in mind the following indications:
- The healthy reasons for having a relationship are a desire to share love, intimacy and companionship; yearning to experience personal development; eagerness to provide emotional and physical support to the couple; and the hope of creating a family. It is important to keep in mind that these motivations not only focus on receiving love and support, but also on giving them to your partner.
- The unhealthy reasons to have a relationship are the fear of being alone, fear of breakup and the unwillingness to lose your connection with friends or family of your partner. Using your partner to obtain security, sex, money, or getting revenge on an ex-partner, are unhealthy reasons to have a relationship. If you start a relationship and keep it for these reasons, both your partner and you will have difficulties to make it last and be happy, causing damage to the process.
Choose your partner wisely. If you want to build a happy and lasting relationship, you must choose your partner carefully. A common mistake is to think that opposites attract, but researchers have revealed that people who share common goals, interests and expectations often have more satisfying relationships.
- It is not necessary that your personality traits are the same as those of your partner, but if both want things different from the relationship, they will have difficulties to make it last.
- Determine if your differences complement each other. For example, someone who is more impulsive might find a balance with someone who tends to be more planners.
Keep it real. Starting a relationship with the hope that there are no difficulties or challenges is not realistic. The early passion and the feeling of falling in love may fade, but, with time and effort, you can forge a deeper and more meaningful relationship.
Do not try to change your partner. While you can persuade your partner to pick up dirty clothes or walk the dog, thinking that you can change your personality, views or behavior radically can make the relationship fail. In particular, experts suggest that you will not be able to change the following personality traits or ideas:
- ideas about religion;
- the views of your partner regarding having children;
- his temperament and the way he acts when he feels fury;
- the introversion or extroversion of the person;
- the interests, activities and hobbies of your partner;
- the relationship of your partner with your family.
Develop friendship if you hope to have a lasting and happy relationship, focus on developing friendship with your partner. Experts have revealed that couples who maintain a friendship are happier and are more likely to stay together.
- If you do not want to spend time together, the relationship will not be very successful.
- Take the time to explore the interests and hobbies of each one. At first, doing something you do not want might seem like a sacrifice, but your partner will appreciate your effort and, next time, will be more willing to do something you enjoy.
- Try to identify your common interests and try to get them. For example, if you both enjoy outdoor activities, go on a camping trip.
Do not think that you have to do everything together. Sometimes couples think they need to do all the activities together, but that can make them feel claustrophobic.
- Do not stop spending time with your friends or family.
- Continue with the hobbies you used to have before starting the relationship.
Be generous with one another. Generous people are willing to put the thoughts, feelings and interests of others above their own. Researchers have revealed that when couples are generous with each other, they are more likely to create a lasting relationship.
- Share what you have this could be something as simple as being willing to split a dessert or something more important, like your resources and time.
- Do not act with generosity to get something in return. Those who exhibit true generosity do not do so because they want something from the other person. For example, do not give an elaborate gift just because you want to receive one in return.
Do not feel rushed. People who are in a relationship may feel the pressure to move quickly to a more advanced stage (having intimacy, moving with a partner, or getting married right after they meet). While it may be exciting to think about the happy ending you expect and hurry to fulfill it, taking the time to make sure that both your partner and you are on the same page with respect to the relationship will only solidify it.
- If they do not feel pressure or obligation to do something quickly, both will have more confidence and will be happier in the relationship.
- The better they know each other and the more they develop their relationship, the more likely they are to succeed.
Maintain a long and happy relationship
Keep in mind that your relationship will change. Just as your partner and you may change over time, the relationship will also evolve. Instead of maintaining a monotonous relationship, accept and appreciate the changes that arise with the development of a more established and lasting. 
- Some people worry about not feeling the same level of falling in love or passion as in the first days of the relationship, but it is normal. As the relationship progresses, they may have fewer opportunities for intimacy because of the pressures of work, family, and other commitments. However, research suggests that people in committed relationships claim to have a more satisfying physical and emotional relationship with their partners.
- Instead of worrying about the negative aspects of a more established relationship, think about the positive ways in which your relationship has developed. For example, do you feel that the connection with your partner is deeper? Do you feel more confidence and confidence than at the begi